Can you see me now?

Good.
I might, or might not, be able to see you, depending on the exact alignment of the planets, and if I am holding my mouth right.
Maybe I should have given this post the title of "Let Sleeping Dogs Lie".

I have been very blessed with good vision. You know how perfect vision is 20/20? My vision can be calculated at 20/6, but normally 20/10. I am very grateful for this. It is very useful when I am co-piloting a road trip, and can see a road sign in the next state.

But then came 40. Actually, 41 was the real kicker. All of a sudden, when I tried to read something, I had to hold it further away. Then I couldnt see to thread a needle. Oh Crap - I was going to need some of those reading glasses. I break down and buy a pack of reader glasses from WalMart (3 for $10) - that way I can leave them in every room - for only times I really need to see something.
For three years I had been refusing to get real glasses. My eye doctor told me "you'll know when its time...". In September, it was finally that time.
So off I go to pick some lenses/frames that are nearly invisible. I didnt want them to be seen OR felt. They had some just like that. My cost was $290, and the insurance paid the remainder of the $980 bill. No, that was not a typo, but I think an important part of the story.

Two weeks later I happily went in to pick them up, excited that I was going to be able to see - conveniently. Holy Cow! They were blinding! When I looked out of the top part, they made me sick. Kinda like looking at a carnival mirror. When I looked out of the bottom part, I still couldnt read clearly. So, the eye technician tells me "just wear them for two weeks anyway, and your eyes will adjust". Adjust to what? Blindness?! I wore them for a day and a half and was miserable. Steve was looking through the sack I was given, for the insurance receipt, only to find another patient's paperwork! Maybe the mistake was bigger than just paperwork, and the reason I really couldnt see is because I had someone else's glasses, too! However, a call to their office only brought a denial, but they would be happy to see me. I had another evaluation from the Dr, and he made two prescription changes that should make things better. Come back in two weeks and we will have the lenses adjusted. Hmm, wonder what really happened?

Two weeks later...I'm back to pick them up. A little better - at least I dont want to vomit now when I have them on. I can read some things now, if I only move my head a certain way. The technician told me "cant you just hold whatever you are reading a little further away". Yeah, I laughed at that comment, too. The Dr and technician both advised us at different times that we had 60 days to decide on the glasses. That made me fell better - knowing that I could return them for a refund if they didnt work. However, it has been suggested that part of the problem is me. These are "graduated lenses" which is a fancy way of saying no-line bifocals, and I need to wear them for "weeks" to adjust to them. Maybe I need to take a "Learn how to wear glasses" course.

Still they arent working well. If I wear them ALL day, then one eye is blurry when I take them off. That didnt seem right. So...we call the office to see what to do about returning them. Nothing, since there is no such thing as "returning glasses". Steve takes charge of that, and the Dr calls us at home last night. He said they normally dont take glasses back, but for us, he will make an exception (hmm, wonder what thats about). He asks if I can come in today and reviews the fitting - again. I got alot of stories and discussion, mainly about my brain having to "retrain" itself. (yes, I can hear some of you chuckling that my brain needs training alright). I was assured I would not cause damage to my eyes. So, for the next three weeks...

Who says you cant teach an old brain new tricks? (let's hope its not Stevie Wonder)